I’m okay

As opposed to my beloved MCR’s I’m not okay.

I think that I have come to terms with not being accepted into Juilliard. It’s not because I didn’t get in, but I haven’t heard. I know a lot of colleges are currently doing interviews for new students. I remember my pal Anna interviewed for Harvard in January. But who knows if Undergrad fancy school interviews are done at the same time as Artist Diploma specialty thing.

I had been telling people, the few I told, that I probably wouldn’t hear a peep from Juilliard until March or so, seeing as how they state that they read the plays, and if they plays are as good as hoped for a second look, THEN is the time they read letters of recommendation and THEN if they decide to interview online (pandemic) it would probably be after all of that. And since I can’t imagine Juilliard only gt 12 people applying for the program this winter, it’d probably a lot of reading, notes, info and then letters and apps to read. And I imagine it to be, like, 5 people doing it all over there. God speed, you guys,

So, a bit ago I was sending something in for Naked Angels in my script and noticed the two format mistakes. And i thought for sure that, basic cover letter misspellings rule truths, that it’s an automatic trash pile. And I cried and yelled at myself (because I felt that if I didn’t JUST DO IT I wouldn’t do it at all!) and now, weeks later, rather than thinking about it literally once an hour every single day including in my dreams, I now only think of it 3–6 times a day but mostly in fantasy and not in a real life way.

So I think when the rejection comes, it will hurt. BUT it won’t kill me. So, I’m ok.